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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Blueberries vs the Blueberry






"Why don't you think the world is ready for more of me?"

Monday, March 2, 2015

In Honor of Dr. Seuss Day - Blueberry Has Something to Say





I spy a box just for me
Open it - hurry!  Set the contents free!
Oh me, oh my
What do we have here?

These blueberry bagels belong in my tummy

These fishy treats smell so yummy








These treats have my name
Stop playing this game

I want them all
If you don't hand them over, you will get knocked down like Humpty Dumpty, and you'll have a great fall


Treats for this Blueberry
Treats galore
You give me one treat, but I always want more
Please leave the treats here, and go out the door
I will make them disappear, then burp, for my encore




video

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Little Known Facts

"I'm cute, but everyone already knows that.  And you've already shared a lot of poop stories pretty personal information about me, so what more is there to talk about?"


I have four nieces that live out of state.  I like to try and make them homemade gifts whenever possible.  This past Christmas, I made one of them this Princess and the Pea set.  The only thing I didn't make was the doll (thank you, Etsy).  I like to sew, but on a very small scale since I don't have a sewing machine and I have circulation issues in my fingers, oh, and let's not forget I have only a thimble-full of talent.  But these gifts are a labor of love and I am always pleased when they are well-received by those sweet girls.
That is an actual pea seed.  I had to paint it green though as, surprisingly, green pee seeds are more of a grayish green. Those ladder rungs are made from toothpicks.  As you can see, I had a little trouble drilling evenly spaced holes.  Don't judge.
That box with the reflective oval is supposed to represent a closet and a mirror.  It looked so much better in the on line picture I tried to work from.


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For a very short period, I had an online dog bakery business.  It didn't take off as I was terrible at the online management and promotion.  I ended up selling dog treats through friends and people at work and once, a church Christmas craft sale. Trying to sell the treats really sucked the fun out of baking them. I was much happier to just give the treats away or even just give the recipes out to friends that wanted to bake for their dogs.

This is the logo I created for the bakery.  I always liked it.  I probably could have had it more professionally done - but the basic idea was a lot of fun and I was pleased with the result.  My favorite part?  The dog bone shaped stars.




Now, let me think of something I haven't shared about Blueberry...you may know these things already, but let me give it a whirl:


  • Blueberry hasn't had a bath for about a year now.  She hates them, I hate giving them.  Anyway, she gets "washed" in the rain, as infrequently as that occurs.  In the summer, I trick her into running through the sprinkler by throwing treats near it.


  • Blueberry is like an old vacuum cleaner.  She misses a LOT of crumbs.   I had to buy a hand held vacuum to get the job done properly.

  • When we go to the park, Blueberry will often lead me over to the restrooms, as if to allow me the option of eliminating if necessary.  I usually have to tell her, "No, I'm okay, let's move on." and then we can resume our walk.  My girl takes such good care of me.  

What are some little known facts about you?  


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Importance of Walking Your Dog


Last week, I came down with the flu (flu shot fail).  I was quite ill and therefore, unable to walk Blueberry for several days. Walks are extremely important for Blueberry.  It isn't because she becomes destructive or starts bouncing off the walls.  It is because, well, when Blueberry goes without a walk for more than a few days, things start, um, oozing out her bottom.  This was the scene on Flu Day 4.  (please see below)

  












"Next time, quit feeling sorry for yourself, stop hugging the toilet, and walk me.  Then you won't wake up to smelly stains next to your pillow."



From the human, Blueberry has since returned to her regular self and no further leaks have occurred.  For the record, when you have the flu and are already nauseous, waking up to the smell of an unplanned anal expression is rather dastardly.  

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Belated Letter to My Dog

I wasn't able to think of anything to write to Blueberry for the "Letter to My Dog Blog Hop" that was hosted by Murphy and Stanley this week.  But then, in the morning, material (so to speak) presented itself.  So, better late than never.






To My Blueberry,
I don't have any fancy words for how much I love you and what you mean to me, but I think you know by the things I do for you. Just this morning after your pre-breakfast potty time, I knew something was amiss by the way you raced inside and quickly sat down.  I had you stand and after I lifted your tail, I saw poking out of your bottom the tip of what appeared to be grass. I grabbed a bunch of Kleenex and gently extracted the offending blade (man, it was like 3 inches long!).  If that isn't love, Blueberry, I don't know what is.  
                P.S.  I would also appreciate it if you stopped eating grass so we'd stop having those "special" moments together.  

               Love,  your human 





Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Let's Talk Poop





How much poop, would a Blueberry poo, if a Blueberry were on a semi long hike with you?






"My record is three times.  

My human calls me a Playdoh Poop Factory."



Others have done this (Jodi Stone's Grimm version is hilarious) - come up with names for the different ways their dogs poop, but I have my own glossary of poo terms I thought I'd share; that's what it's about, sharing.  The good, the bad, the gross.  




Blueberry's Poop:  A Reference Guide

"I'll show you":  The small nuggets she forces out when a simple urinessage (urination message) won't do.  Makes me wonder who the dog was that left the original message that made her want to one-up him or her.  "I'll see your urinessage and raise you three butt nuggets."


"Logjam": These are the kinds of poos that I dread; full of grass, swaying back and forth with each strain.  I quickly look around and then provide assistance.  I don't know why I look around first; we both know I have to help whether or not there is an audience.   Sometimes I brace myself as I see what's happening, inwardly encourage her efforts, and strain with her in the hopes that it will come out on its own; rarely works.



"Wannabe Logjam":  The poop is grassy, yet, miracle of miracles - it comes out without any human assistance.  I've been known to let out a small cheer when this occurs.


"Air Drop":  This is the typical dog walking and pooping, but it makes me wonder if Blueberry is pretending she is an airplane, dropping tiny little parcels of provisions to tiny villagers in various remote locations.


"Soft Serve":  Self-explanatory.  It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I am guaranteed to get some on at least one finger. Due to a past incident, I am also careful to close my mouth whilst picking up the gooey mess.


"Incoming!":  These are the poos that roll down small hills and sometimes hit my boots.  Sometimes, I exclaim, "I'm hit!  I'm hit!" as I dance away from the poo.  A human's gotta entertain herself somehow.


"Shrub Berries":  I don't really know why any dog would want to poop on a shrub.  I've seen Blueberry get poked in the bottom so many times.  Almost always results in a torn poo bag and requires finesse in order to keep the poo from getting on my hand. 


"Fake Out":  I see the poo crowning, but something will distract Blueberry and it disappears.  


Your turn - do you have any nicknames for your dog's poop?