Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Belated Letter to My Dog

I wasn't able to think of anything to write to Blueberry for the "Letter to My Dog Blog Hop" that was hosted by Murphy and Stanley this week.  But then, in the morning, material (so to speak) presented itself.  So, better late than never.

To My Blueberry,
I don't have any fancy words for how much I love you and what you mean to me, but I think you know by the things I do for you. Just this morning after your pre-breakfast potty time, I knew something was amiss by the way you raced inside and quickly sat down.  I had you stand and after I lifted your tail, I saw poking out of your bottom the tip of what appeared to be grass. I grabbed a bunch of Kleenex and gently extracted the offending blade (man, it was like 3 inches long!).  If that isn't love, Blueberry, I don't know what is.  
                P.S.  I would also appreciate it if you stopped eating grass so we'd stop having those "special" moments together.  

               Love,  your human 

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Let's Talk Poop

How much poop, would a Blueberry poo, if a Blueberry were on a semi long hike with you?

"My record is three times.  

My human calls me a Playdoh Poop Factory."

Others have done this (Jodi Stone's Grimm version is hilarious) - come up with names for the different ways their dogs poop, but I have my own glossary of poo terms I thought I'd share; that's what it's about, sharing.  The good, the bad, the gross.  

Blueberry's Poop:  A Reference Guide

"I'll show you":  The small nuggets she forces out when a simple urinessage (urination message) won't do.  Makes me wonder who the dog was that left the original message that made her want to one-up him or her.  "I'll see your urinessage and raise you three butt nuggets."

"Logjam": These are the kinds of poos that I dread; full of grass, swaying back and forth with each strain.  I quickly look around and then provide assistance.  I don't know why I look around first; we both know I have to help whether or not there is an audience.   Sometimes I brace myself as I see what's happening, inwardly encourage her efforts, and strain with her in the hopes that it will come out on its own; rarely works.

"Wannabe Logjam":  The poop is grassy, yet, miracle of miracles - it comes out without any human assistance.  I've been known to let out a small cheer when this occurs.

"Air Drop":  This is the typical dog walking and pooping, but it makes me wonder if Blueberry is pretending she is an airplane, dropping tiny little parcels of provisions to tiny villagers in various remote locations.

"Soft Serve":  Self-explanatory.  It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I am guaranteed to get some on at least one finger. Due to a past incident, I am also careful to close my mouth whilst picking up the gooey mess.

"Incoming!":  These are the poos that roll down small hills and sometimes hit my boots.  Sometimes, I exclaim, "I'm hit!  I'm hit!" as I dance away from the poo.  A human's gotta entertain herself somehow.

"Shrub Berries":  I don't really know why any dog would want to poop on a shrub.  I've seen Blueberry get poked in the bottom so many times.  Almost always results in a torn poo bag and requires finesse in order to keep the poo from getting on my hand. 

"Fake Out":  I see the poo crowning, but something will distract Blueberry and it disappears.  

Your turn - do you have any nicknames for your dog's poop?